Jurassic Park
by Stiterra
Summary: The FF gang goes to the island of Jurassic Park.


|Jurassic Park |  
|Narrator: Ah, yes, the 1993 movie that excited us. BUT, what |  
|happends when you put Final Fantasy 7 in the action? Well? Come|  
|on, ANSWER!!! That's it, if you give the silent treatment, I'll DO |  
|THE SAME!!!!! ............................................... |  
|Author: Just do your job! |  
|Narrator: ......ok, you get a comic type of movie that will bring you |  
|out of your seats, on the floor, drooling as every minute comes by in |  
|magic splendor!!! OR, just a crappy story made by Stark! |  
|Stark: HEY, MY STORIES AREN'T CRAPPY!!! |  
|Narrator: Yup! |  
|Stark: THAT'S IT! * bling * |  
|Author: YOU MADE HIM DISAPPEAR, HOW????? |  
|Stark: You want to find out? |  
|Author: ....... |  
|Stark: Good, on with the show! |  
|(Flying over to an island with a research center) |  
|Cid: Yup, never saw this place before. |  
|Cloud: They say its an amusement park with dinosaurs and cool stuff |  
|that eat people! |  
|Yuffie: Like cool, whatever totally, GWAD!!!! |  
|Red: WOOF!!! |  
|Barret: Not as good AS my Kibbles and Bits!!! |  
|Everyone: .......... |  
|Barret: At least you could $%#*^ try it for once. |  
|Red: WOOF? |  
|Barret: Not you, you friggin mongrel!!!!! |  
|Red: LWOOFL |  
|Tifa: Why are they not answering back when we radio them though? |  
|Cloud: Don't know, Cid, Land on one of the helicopter pads. |  
|Cid: ARE YOU $%^%#^(%$ NUTS, YOU THINK THIS HUNK OF METAL CAN FIT ON |  
|A (&^^^#^# JUNK LAND PAD!!!! |  
|Cloud: Just do it! |  
|Cid: -= mutter mutter =- |  
|Cloud: What was that? |  
|Cid: -= MUTTER %&%$$ MUTTER =- |  
|Cloud: ..ok |  
|(So they land on the abandoned island seeing many rare sights and the |  
|broken down lab) |  
|Cloud: Wow, I see a broken down lab! |  
|(Precisely) |  
|Aeris: Do you think they have chocobos?!?!? |  
|Cid: HA HA, if they did they are probably DEAD ON THE FLOOR GUSHING |  
|BLOOD!!! HAHAHA |  
|Aeris: Don't be mean, they could probably survive, they are pretty |  
|smart! |  
|Cid: AS SMART AS THE ^&&^ UP ONE WHO STARVED TO DEATH WHEN YOU THOUGH|  
|HE WAS "PUTTING ON SOME WEIGHT" HAHAHAHA!!!!! |  
|Aeris: L HEY, he was fat and he needed a diet, plus, it was your turn|  
|to feed him. |  
|Cid: Wha, nope, not my %#@%& turn, it was Barret's! |  
|Barret: Yup, my turn. |  
|Tifa: So what did you feed him? |  
|Barret: Uh, well, Kibbles.. |  
|Everyone: . and BITS!!!!!! |  
|Aeris: You know that it kill them within 3 hours!!!!!! THEY EXPLODE |  
|BARRET!!!! |  
|Cloud: That's why I found chocobo shit all over my buggy the next |  
|day! |  
|Aeris: L WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! |  
|Narrater: Oh god, on with the story please, I'll buy you a new |  
|chocobo!!! |  
|Aeris: J YAY J |  
|Cloud: oh please.. |  
|(They head into the lab unaware of the many dead dinosaurs around |  
|them, don't ask me how!) |  
|Cloud: Wow, it seems pretty safe in here. |  
|Vincent: ........... |  
|Cloud: Don't worry Vincent, nothing is wrong! |  
|Vincent: ...........!!!!!! |  
|Cloud: I don't see hundreds of dinosaur carcasses that are laying |  
|less than 3 feet away from us. |  
|Vincent: L |  
|(So they head on to a not so "happy" room) |  
|Cloud: Where is the light switch, I can't see a thing . |  
|Tifa: I think I felt it, wow, a big light switch!! |  
|Unidentified Object: RAAAAAAR!!!! |  
|Cloud: Red, I told you to eat something before we left on the |  
|island!!! |  
|Red: WOOF! That wasn't me Cloud, WOOF! |  
|Cloud: If that wasn't you then what was tha... |  
|Tifa: FOUND THE REAL LIGHT SWITCH!!! |  
|-= CLICK =- |  
|Vincent: ........!!!!!!! |  
|Cloud: What Vincent, OH MY !!!!! |  
|T-REX: RAAAAAR RAAAR RAAAAR |  
|Cloud: Look Mr.T... |  
|Mr.T: Who you callin Mr.T FOO! He's not black and he don't got the |  
|"chains" |  
|Cloud: Oh, I mean Rexy.. |  
|Mr.T: That's better FOO! |  
|Cloud: Look Rexy, you are much bigger than the FF8 Rex and you are |  
|looking pretty hungry, that's why, uh, you can eat BARRET! |  
|Barret: WHAT THE &$$#$#%$!!!!!!!!!! |  
|Cloud: He's Black and good with butter and jam!!! |  
|Barret: YOU WHITE SKINNY BASTERD!!!!!! |  
|Cloud: Uh, BYE -= scurry scurry =- |  
|T-REX: RAAAR -= hack hack =- Sorry, had something stuck in my throat.|  
| |  
|Everyone (and I mean everyone): |  
|!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |  
|T-REX: What, you never saw a talking dinosaur before? |  
|Everyone: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |  
|T-REX: Come on, have you ever played sega before, the little |  
|tyrannosaurus says sega real fast, like sega, no faster, sega!!! |  
|Barret: uh, so you won't, uh, eat us. |  
|T-REX: OH, heavens no, im not a fan of black meat, I LOVE white meat!|  
| |  
|All the white characters: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |  
|T-REX: PORK, NOT YOU, P-O-R-K!!! |  
|All the white characters: -=Phew=- |  
|Cait: Hi guys, I just dropped off here to bring beer. |  
|(He puts down the two 6-packs) |  
|Cait: .and I also saw Cloud run by, wow, he can run fast!!! |  
|Barret: And he white too. (Drum beats [bum bum ting]) |  
|Cait: Cool T-rex doll, I had one that big when I was small, wow, they|  
|don't make them like they use to!!! |  
|T-REX: But, excuse me, I'm not a doll. |  
|Cait: Cool, you also taught him how to talk.. |  
|T-REX: no, wait. |  
|Cait: Can I poke at him -=poke poke=- |  
|T-REX: RAAAAAAR, IM REAL YOU DIMWITTED CAT!!! |  
|Cait: ttttttttttttttt tee rrrrrr ex uh, ah, duh, fuu, muuuh, |  
|AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! |  
|T-REX: WAIT A SEC, CAT=YUMMY. CAT, COME BACK! I WANT TO EAT YOU!!!!!|  
| |  
|(then Cait goes running off with an amazingly intelligent T-REX which |  
|could never exist since they all died out!) |  
|Barret: Wow, what a turn of events! Im glad I got my kibbles and |  
|bits left over!!!! -=munch munch=- |  
|Everyone except Vincent since he can't talk the way the others do: |  
|PASS SOME O DAT SHIT!!! |  
|Now Vincent: ...........!!!!! |  
|THE END!!! | 


End file.
